Music and Pony time..
Hudson reloaded my ipod and so I headed outside with a new playlist and it hit me as I stood in the middle of the yard jumping, singing and dancing why oh why has it taken me so long to tune back in..
I love music.. Singing and dancing are as important to me as food and nourishment.. Specially when I am in the car I am the obnoxious person with the loud music..
Even as a child I knew all the words to all songs, I loved moving, making actions and choreographing routines to dance to songs.. When there were no horses in my life there was music and when I needed to get places and solely relied on my legs to get me around, it was music that kept me going..
I used to have a yellow water proof SONY cassette player, with not allot of cassettes I would take stuff off the radio yet my most prized tapes were sinead o’conner and Manhattan Transfer..
I often walked along allot of trails where I was not seen and would often have to stop in the middle of no where to have impromptu dance scenes as I imagined the world watching.. Yeah I was a rock star..
Thinking of all of this reminds me now why Carlos has the imagination he does..
Always awkward of myself music offered it’s lyrical hand to come and escape, to dream and move which unknowingly was keeping me in shape as were the many miles I clocked walking through Burnaby Mountain, to Lougheed Mall and eventually along the Galardi Hwy to get to and from B.H.A. (Burnaby Horseman’s Ass.)
I am inspired by current music, I am open to all genres yet I always prefer Rap or anything that inspires controversy because of the lyric’s.. I love freedom of speech and that it is an artist’s right to interpret their stories through their own words and colours and I am glad that I have been able to share this with the kids because it has provided many a opportunity to talk..
For a long time the only time I listened to music was in the car, when the kids were young it was hard to get lost in the music so to speak and yes I had the stereo on yet sometimes the additional sound energy in the house was too overwhelming to me..
Once we moved up north Hudson received an ipod as a gift and I fell in love, the kids older, I could afford to plug in to the music and out of the world.. I often would borrow this little device of freedom from her. The marrying of poo picking and listening to music became the perfect pairing and was my way of meditation..
The greatest gift is being free to lose your inhabitation’s with out the use of drugs and alcohol to achieve this feeling.. To openly dance in nature, in a large field.. The though although a very prized reality for me brings me to tears..
I used to listen to music allot in the winter when the horses did not have the barn.. I realized the energy I would give off was appealing to the Spirit, that or I was a major source of entertainment as I sang and bounced about..
Once the barn came Hudson and I were often cleaning at the same time so we would be open so we could talk as we cleaned which is equally as nice.. A good bonding time yet there is something about taking care of yourself so you can be better for the others around you..
Listening to music around horses with head phones on is a lesson in trust for me as I cannot hear what is going on and if I turn my back I have to know that the horses will respect my space..
With Tadpole coming into the herd there has been some awkward adjustment and allot of ruffled feathers and I have been trying to watch myself around Tadpole as I think he is insecure and reminds me of Flash in some ways..
So with out hesitation in went the music and immediately I stopped and danced, for the goats, for the chicken’s, for confused Murray and then I turn to see Shurman most curious as to my flailing..
I cleaned, I danced and then I groomed Spirit..
He knows when I listen to music, possibly because he hears me.. Hudson said to me over lunch once I came inside it was hard NOT to notice me as she had to close the kitchen window because she could not think over me.. lol
I think Spirit see’s my colour change and my energy shift.. I share the music putting an ear bud to his nostril then go back to my choreographed grooming..
I know for sure there is magic in the music for us all.. Once I was done and came back inside I looked out to the paddocks and all 4 horses were laying down.. A sign to me a job well done.
I was 18 years old when I went in for my first tattoo.. Not a big surprise, when I was 10 years I remember watching Ripley’s believe it or not about heavily tattooed people..
I knew then that was for me..
That was my first inkling I was not like other people.. Long before the internet or social websites you were either cool or you were not.. I was the latter of the two, I never found a place where I felt I fit..
It was not until horses that I had a sense of being ok with whom I was.. The horse never judged me, didn’t care what I looked like or what I liked to talk about, they just wanted to know the person inside..
I always knew I needed to be around horses, my life took me this way and that way and then I took my life back… My desire of tattooing increased as I aged and did my desire to return to the horses..
I met the man of my dreams.. Allot of similar interests were shared between the two of us.. Mostly that of the horses. We said from the beginning our dream would be to have horses on property and to think we achieved this..
His passion is VW’s and American Muscle cars and what better way for a girl to participate is through fashion and style of the retro Pin Up girl.. A few years ago I was trying to style my wardrobe with a Pin Up influence, hair flowers and lot’s of cleavage.
I did not know at the time how much I would fall in love with they style and culture and even though we live on a farm and are far away from any city centers where we can participate in car culture I knew I wanted to go full on “Doll”..
I am afforded a wonderful life by my husband, I stay at home, have freedom to care for the animals, have time to go on my spiritual journey with the horses and the ability to dress in as style I would like.. It is not a coincidence to me that my love of my tattoo’s goes hand in hand with the NEW Pin up look and it is also not a surprise that I feel I am more than one person at times..
Being at home on the farm I am either in my pyjamas or running about outside in gumboots and barn cloths YET when we go to town is my time to Doll up as I say..
I cannot be anymore polar opposite to these two images..
The one thing that I know for sure in this life is that I am my own being, I have never felt until this point in my life that there was a place for me.. As I went through the years I tried on many hats and none ever seemed to feel that good..
Technology has given us the ability to self promote and put out there and connect with others that have similar interests or outlooks on life..
I have finally learned no matter what I show up like, as long as I am true to myself, intentions and beliefs I am good. It’s that internal confidence, the glow that radiates from within.. This is what we should deem attractive or popular in and for people.
I always have taken the long road to figuring things out, very much guided by my intuition or gut feeling.. My perception of life has always been different than others yet has reaped me the rewards of life because I see it with different eyes..
No matter how I show up, at the heart I am always the same person..
It only seemed fitting to make the persona of my Pin up character after my knuckle Tattoo and Bettie Page.. I started the NEW “Boss Mare Betty” FB page to accommodate that side of my personality. Just as I did with “The Spirit Horse” FB page.
No matter what the page they are all facets of me.. Sometimes it feels easier to identify myself as different characters as they can be so different from each other..
Really how many heavily tattooed Pin Up Dolls do you see with farms and horses ❤
Since writing this Blog for “My Riding Journey FB Group” I have since opened this account and decided it was a good addition to this new site and groups of writings.
Big things come in small packages..
(Early Spring, Buckwheat on Left, Tadpole on Right)
When Tadpole was backed off the trailer Hudson and I looked at each other and shared a common though.. Is this the “mini” we just bought..?
There was a familiarity about him as Hudson led him to the paddock and I loved what would soon reveal itself about him to me..
We never judge a horse by it’s initial entrance into the herd and we reserved our thoughts of Tadpole until he was with us for a good week so we knew he had a chance to settle a bit in his new surroundings and be more of himself around the horses..
Tadpole is 3 years old and he had never had a NEW home and I believe he left his mother when he came here.. He was in a herd with other young studs and was probably in a field with not much daily handling by humans..
Coming here would have been a big change for him as he was put into a paddock, a smaller confined space than he would have been used to.. Although we try to offer constant access to hay for the horses, he would have to rely on us to bring his hay to him rather than feeding only off a round bale when ever he chose..
We also are in contact with our horses physically and in presence multiple times a day.. In the spring and summer we want to provide turn out to the field by walking the horses out of their paddocks yet sometimes weather can play apart in this and so Tadpole also had to learn we don’t always get to go out and play..
At first Tadpole seemed to be a bit of a grump.. He was possessive of his space.. Wanted to show up as the big man, ears back and snaky head.. I found his behaviour reminded me of Hudson’s old pony Flash..
As time went on and the weather went to the birds we ended up having to play musical ponies and paddocks.. The paddock that Tadpole was in was so heavily saturated by the rain that we had to block it off and he was on stall arrest.. During this time I started to see a change in him as we would take Tadpole from that stall during the day and either put him in the goat pen or turn out in the field..
I soon noticed another energy familiar to us presented and that was of Khayla our arab mare we had.. There is allot of back story with Khayla yet a quick composition of her time with us is that simply I did not have confidence in my self or my abilities around a young fresh horse and because I was insecure I put that on her too. I could not make the connection as to why I had the problems and feelings I did with her and in the end we sold her because I let fear take over and make my decisions about her..
I soon made a connection with Tadpole.. When he went out with the horses he got puffed up and I would see Spirit constantly working him as he was cheeky and full of himself yet when he was taken away from the herd and put in his stall he was jumpy and timid and made me feel like he was in fact insecure..
Before I made this connection to Tadpole I was thinking what had I gotten myself into with him.. I thought I was doing right by the herd and specially for Buckwheat so that there would be a companion once Hudson and I started road riding again..
Yet once I made the connection I felt the universe was giving me a second opportunity and this time not to doubt myself.. I have come a long road since my time with Khayla.. Spirit has taught me allot and I have faced and over come allot of fear since she was with us..
The Dentist being my #1..
So now when I go outside and I see Tadpole I don’t look at him the same way any more.. He is like me, there is a familiarity in him like he is three horses in one.. As himself and he brings back to us Flash and Khayla just like I am more than one character in my life..
Funny thing now too is the level of worry on both sides seems to have subsided..
Since the time the first part of this blog was written much has changed around the farm with Tadpole. We have all settled around him as he has settled with us. Long are his days of trying to show us whom is the boss and he understands now what is expected of him.
He now has his own paddock and lives beside Buckwheat, winter is soon approaching so a shelter will be built before snow returns. The boys have been keenly interested in the ponies again now that there are two and no one has to share.
Tadpole really does have a soft eye and a big heart.