Tag: peace

Letting go.

The black and white of the equestrian world runs deeply from the backyard hobbyist to the Elite professional.  There is a way one abides to the rules, the rules of equine ownership.

I guess that is where I am already turned off, I know that the horses that are apart of our herd are in a sense perceived as being owned.  It seems that human nature has to possess things to establish some sort of seen value.  Yet to me the very word owning a horse is so repulsive.  For what I love and adore most about horses is the very thing that we try to take from a horse, their spirit and freedom through ownership.  With their grace, size and beauty no matter what predicament this 4 legged creature finds itself in the human can never truly possess their essence.

With possession we naturally lack respect, I think it is easy to use the word like a child whom has figured out a cadence of spewing out the word sorry trying to find their boundaries with in a parent who does not place them.


Of course we respect the horse and yet we show our love and respect by doing the most unnatural of things to them.  With in the same breath of announcing our love, our passion we assert our desire onto them and expect them to conform to our ways with out true regard for their needs and desires.

I feel we like to think on their behalves, we get caught up in purchasing things in an attempt to display the quality of merchandise we adorn them in rather than the quality of the horse’s mental state of being.

We have perverted so many aspects of horses reality, we have mare’s birthing foals that are being taken so quickly, basic imprinting skills from Dam to foal is notably being bred out of them.

Yet we are a society so heavily laden by consumption and commerce that to truly be able to understand would require the horse “owner” to understand that they are really a facilitator and be evolved enough to know the horse should come first.

Even I find myself in a situation where I know I cannot afford the horses the truest of freedom and the lifestyle most suited to their needs.  In a perfect world I would turn them loose and I would know that because of my relationship with my equine friends they would want to return and visit on their own, yet this will never happen and the saying if you love something set them free and if it is meant to be they will return cannot be applied here as that would be cruel.

My equine friends have become dependent on me, I have put them in a situation where I have to feed them and maintain their source of food and water, I control their turn out and what will happen to them in the days to come.

I have come to realize the burden and the dependency created, even if I could let them loose would they still remember.  Have we taken that away from them as well?

Like children we spend great amounts of time schooling them information from books that have become obsolete in this day and age with technology.  Instead of the truth and preparing them to care for themselves, setting priorities of being happy and healthy through balance we drum it out of them.  We tell them that your value is only because of your book smarts. Yet our spirits know this not to be the truth.

I certainly know this to be true since pulling my children out of conventional schooling and facilitating their work with them through Distance education.  The work load and time children spend in school is not really necessary I wonder if it was designed in order to work around the working classes schedule.

Even in my children I have noted a huge change in their stress levels and how they relate to each other since making the change, just as the horses did when my perspective changed of them as well.

A couple of years ago I made choices in my life to be left alone by society in general.  I needed the space, I had to hear that voice with in me not as a whisper yet loud and clear.

I always knew I would never go wrong by this voice and because of it I have come to learn much from the horses and my children, on a different more meaningful level of life.

As of recent I have started to re-emerge as my new self and I am strong in knowing my truth as I have walked the walk I feel I can talk the talk.  I am grateful for social media and the ability to put my words out there and be seen by people who need to read them.


I do not know what it will take for change of perspective in our world, I do see that my children are here to help make the difference as they only know what we do here and practice and love so tolerance of old ways is not accepted here.

I do know one day we all will get it and whether that is in the now or when you are departing this world we are all very deeply connected and in order to seek greater compassion for our society/world as a whole we have to take a look at the relationship we have with the animals and nature we share with here on earth.

We can no longer own it all.


Spirit connecting with the boys

My Grandmother’s Cactus.

In my mid twenties my aunt was moving back to New Zealand, she asked me if I would want the Christmas cactus that was sitting in her kitchen window. She knew it would be put into quarantine and because of scaling back what she was taking with her I agreed.

I can go back in my minds eye and see this cactus always in my Aunt’s window yet I cannot remember where she sat when she was with my Grandmother.

My aunt acquired the cactus after my Grandmother passed.

I have grown a lot since that time in my spiritual beliefs and my thoughts on life. At one time I thought death meant the end and now in my abstract and unconventional way death to me is anything but that. I see the human form simply that a form and we are made of abundant energy, once our form passes on our energy remains enabling us to be.
Now having Grandma’s cactus as my own and starting my own family I felt this plant was a conduit of sorts. I always knew Grandma was with us; like the oxygen that this cactus produces is like her loving breath. Like a pulse or a heart beat I can feel her.

This cactus has grown and grown over the years she has been with me. She has been re-potted and at one point most of her branches broken off during a move and yet she remains a strong connection to her energy.

This cactus is alive and well with us, as they are front and center – they see it all.

Today I trimmed her branches, I decided today was the day to help release her of some of her weight and so I slowly went to work with my shears.

I knew my Grandmother was stood with me, not talking yet empowering me, she knew I would take my time. I removed and pruned a lot of weight from her cactus, symbolically I guess I was letting go and not in a conscious sort of way.

At first I worried I was some how imposing my desire on the cactus to shed her of her limbs and then I became aware as I trimmed her branches they became lighter and lifted towards the sky.

This afternoon was filled with a familiar feeling of time that I had spent alone with her.

It has been a week since I trimmed the cactus and it almost appears to be glowing. She is looking the healthiest I have seen her in some time, green, alive and fresh. The biggest affirmation was the flower bud I just discovered.




A Morning on the Farm..


I roll over before the alarm goes off beating the obnoxious pulsing tone, I always think what a horrid way to start ones day.

I grab my hat and call Murray to be let out side; I try to balance myself while pulling up my snow pants. I leave them set on top of my boots like a fireman does after their last use to make it easier to slip into.

Jacket zipped I open the door as Murray pushes past and I take in a full breath of fresh air, looking forward I see the Chick.a.dee’s fluttering about the bird feeder and I hear Shurman whinny and greet me as he spies me on the deck.

The horses could not be any closer, there was a time I would have to drive for an hour and thirty minutes just to see them and now I simply walk 30 meters.

The boys standing in their paddocks present to me their perked ears and keen interest that I am heading into the barn to soon return with their morning hay.

I hear George our Rooster greeting the morning and establishing to all that can hear him that “He is the man”. As I get closer to the barn door the goats start crying as they two are looking forward to their morning feed.

As I approach the barn door there is always a moment of gratitude that I even have this door to open and then the moment when you know you are opening a door to happiness. I switch on the barn light and step in to the fresh smell of pine shavings, hay and barn smells.

Spirit and Shurman have made their way into the barn and will me to the hay area with big eyes blinking and displaying pretty arched necks and attentive ears as I chuckle at the amount of shavings they are wearing this particular morning.

The inside boys fed; Murray waits for me outside the barn as I have flakes tucked under my arm to give to ponies for their feed. As I walk out to their paddocks I admire the range of pinks in the sky and contrasting with the blues and set against the white snow.

Murray is bouncing up and down at this point as he knows once I drop these flakes of hay it is time to go inside for his meal.

Back into the mudroom I remove my outside clothing returning it to the hooks I took them from. I can smell coffee brewing, this means it has been made for me.

Now I start my day.